How frustrating and overwhelming is it when you don’t understand what’s happening with your child? You try so hard to be patient but all too often you end up in another vicious cycle.
I see you! I was you! And I believe that you are already trying REALLY hard to be the parent you want to be!
Through my work with loving, committed parents over the past 15 years, I’ve come to see that love alone and trying harder are not enough to break the cycle.
I can say with confidence, good parenting is not simply a matter of more will. Becoming more responsive and less reactive as a parent is a matter of strengthening your skills. (Skills that many of our own parents didn’t have!)
A Parent-Centric Approach
The building blocks of these skills come from what I call, a Parent-Centric Approach that understands behavior as communication.
Parents and caregivers are the most effective agents of change in a family. They hold the power. Like an anchor tethers a boat when it thrashes on the waves or blows in the wind, parents tether their child. In essence, you, the parent, are your best parenting tool!
This is why I focus my approach on supporting your strengths and enhancing your skills. It helps you become better able to help your child.
Imagine your child is like a barometer. They tell you the weather around them, but they are not the weather. The weather is the stress in their environment. Their behavior is their response to that stress. The barometer can’t change the weather, but the weather can change the barometer.
A Parent-Centric approach builds on your strengths and places the keys to change in your big hands. It’s rooted in understanding what your child’s behavior is telling you so you can respond lovingly and effectively for lasting change.
A Child-Centric approach places the keys to change in the child’s small hands. They’re rooted in trying to get your kid to do what you want them to do and often use rewards and consequences in reaction to a child’s behavior. This can lead to vicious cycles rather than the lasting change you want.
These 7 Principles guide a Parent-centric approach:
1. Connection matters more than perfection
2. Behavior is an SOS, not an attack
3. The better you do, the better your child does
4. Families are dynamic systems where all members affect each other
5. Your child wants to please you
6. Small changes lead to big results
7. What you focus on increases
I see the Parent-Centric Principles like a Parenting GPS. They form the
foundation for understanding what’s happening with your child.
7 Essential Parenting Skills
Then, the 7 Essential Parenting Skills provide the roadmap for taking the principles into practice. Principles and Skills work together to nurture loving connection and peace at home.
I’m confident that you’ve already developed some of these skills along your parenting journey! My intention for this assessment is for you to acknowledge the skills you already utilize and notice which skills could use strengthening.
Click the image below to take the Essential Parenting Skills assessment.
Comments